Dating in university: How to meet “the one” with Lincoln

Most of us are focused on settling in, figuring out timetables and learning where good coffee can be found. But somewhere between assessments, social events and study, you might meet someone who becomes a big part of your life. Lincoln is living proof that clichés can become reality (by the way, I’m Lincoln 😅).

Relationships tend to grow quickly and naturally at universities that are all about community. When you are surrounded by people at a similar life stage, going through the same challenges and celebrating the same things, you will get along quite quickly. Whether you’re actively dating or open to seeing what happens, university is the perfect place for connecting with others.

While not every crush will turn into a love story, dating in university can teach you a lot about communication, boundaries and yourself, which is kind of the point.

The dos and don’ts of dating at uni

University life moves quickly. Trimesters fly by, schedules change, and suddenly it’s week 10. When it comes to dating in university, a little perspective goes a long way.

One of the biggest “dos” is remembering that relationships should add to your experience, not consume it. Yes, it’s exciting to meet someone new. No, you don’t need to spend every spare minute together to make it work.

It’s also worth remembering that relationships can last through university, and many do, but they evolve. Between placements, part-time jobs and different classes, flexibility matters more than perfection. This is where simple dating rules help.

Don’t let your relationship take over your life

University is one of the most important stages of self-discovery you’ll ever experience in life. You’re learning how you work, what motivates you and what you want next. Dating can be part of that, but it shouldn’t replace it.

When a relationship becomes your entire world, other parts of your life tend to shrink. Friendships fade, hobbies disappear, and study feels like an interruption. Keeping balance isn’t about caring less, it’s about caring smarter.

Healthy dating while studying means you still show up for tutorials, still say yes to opportunities, and still have an identity outside of your relationship. Ironically, independence often makes relationships stronger, not weaker.

You may have heard of the 5 P’s to avoid dating: pressure, pretending, passivity, possessiveness, and panic. University is challenging enough without bringing unnecessary stress into your personal life.

Setting boundaries and taking it slow

Feeling safe and secure in a relationship is non-negotiable. University introduces independence quickly, and with that comes the responsibility to advocate for yourself.

Setting boundaries means being honest about what you’re comfortable with, what you need and when you need space. If you don’t have a lot of experience setting boundaries, it can be difficult, but it means you’re more likely to get what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Taking things slow can also remove pressure. You don’t need to define everything immediately. You’re allowed to say no, change your mind, and prioritise your wellbeing. That’s not mixed messaging, that’s emotional maturity.

The 72-hour rule in dating is about giving yourself breathing space before reacting emotionally, whether that’s replying to a confusing message, defining the relationship or overthinking a read receipt. Uni life is busy. Not everything needs an instant answer.

Keeping the spark alive

Between lectures, shifts at work and assessment deadlines, romance can slip into the background. But keeping the spark alive doesn’t require grand gestures or expensive dates.

It could be as simple as sending a supportive message before an exam, making time to grab coffee between classes or studying one-on-one together. Small moments matter, especially when time is limited.

The strongest university relationships often thrive because they’re built on friendship, understanding, and shared routines. When both people respect how busy uni life can be, effort feels natural rather than forced.

Avoiding academic and romantic chaos

Keeping a bit of independence in a relationship is important, particularly if you don’t want to have a lovely night sleeping on the floor. I’d avoid choosing the same class, particularly subjects with group assessments. I’m big on keeping PDA light on campus as it’s a shared space and no one likes to see couples making out in between classes.

Where to meet “the one”

You don’t need dating apps or awkward cold approaches to meet someone at university. In fact, some of the best connections happen when you’re just out living your best life at uni.

• SRC and student life events

  Campus events run by Student Representative Councils (SRCs) are designed to bring people together. They’re relaxed, social and low-pressure, ideal conditions for meeting new people.

  From trivia nights to themed events, these spaces make conversation easy because everyone already has something in common – they’re part of the same community. That’s how I met my girlfriend.

  “We met at a university event for the film society. I was playing music for the event when Jada came up to me and said, “You know, your music taste is a red flag.” We immediately hit it off from there. At first, we were friends and only saw each other at events, but Jada eventually asked me to hang out one-on-one, and the connection blossomed from there. Now we’re about a year and a half into our relationship. Both of us have benefited from supporting each other through our studies and life in general.”

• Join student clubs and groups

  Student clubs are one of the best places for uni dating. Whether it’s sport, design, culture or volunteering, shared interests remove the awkwardness of meeting new people.

  “We both decided to get involved in societies because we wanted to make friends and be part of a community. The events helped us find like-minded people, where we were able to discuss our passions for music, film, art and more.”

  When you meet someone through a club, you already know you enjoy similar things. Conversations are more chill, and friendships often form before romance does, which can be a great foundation.

• Orientation

  Orientation is chaotic, exciting, and full of people who are just as new and unsure. Everyone is looking to connect, whether that’s finding friends, study buddies or something more.

  You might even bump into “the one” while lining up for merch or trying to figure out where your next session is. Stranger things have happened.

  

• Volunteering programs

  Volunteering brings together people who care about community and contribution. That shared purpose often creates meaningful connections that feel deeper from the start.

  Working toward a common goal makes it easier to build trust, communicate openly and see how someone shows up for others, all important qualities in a relationship.

We should note that finding “the one” at university isn’t guaranteed, and that’s okay. University isn’t a deadline for love. It’s a chapter for learning, growth and discovering who you are becoming.

Whether you meet a lifelong partner, enjoy a short-term romance or just get a better idea about what you want in future relationships, dating at uni is part of the experience, not the destination.