How to support someone experiencing mental health challenges

Almost half of all Australian adults will experience a mental health condition at some point in their lives, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics' National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing (2020-2022). That's roughly 8.6 million people. The people closest to them are often the first to notice something has changed.

If you're here, chances are you've noticed a change in someone you care about, and you want to know how to help. Maybe they've been withdrawn, or maybe it's further along the line, and what you're seeing resembles a mental breakdown.

Recognising someone who may be in distress

Mental health conditions don't always announce themselves clearly. More often, they show up as gradual shifts in how someone behaves, communicates or engages with daily life. According to Healthdirect Australia, common signs that someone might be struggling include:

• Persistent changes in mood, such as prolonged sadness, irritability or emotional flatness
• Disrupted sleep patterns, whether that's sleeping far more or far less than usual
• Withdrawal from social activities, friends or routines they once enjoyed
• Noticeable changes in appetite or weight
• Difficulty concentrating, making decisions or keeping up with work or study
• Increased use of alcohol or other substances as a way to cope
• Expressing feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness or excessive guilt

It's important to note that a person displaying any one of these signs on their own does not mean they have a mental health condition. You don't need to figure out what's wrong with them or what their condition might be. That's a job for a health professional. In Australia, GPs and psychiatrists are qualified to formally diagnose mental health conditions. Counsellors also play an important role in supporting clients' mental health and wellbeing. They provide a safe, therapeutic environment in which clients can explore their thoughts, feelings, experiences, and challenges. Counsellors assist clients to develop insight, build coping strategies, strengthen resilience, improve communication and relationship skills, and work towards meaningful personal goals.

If you're wondering whether these signs point to a temporary rough patch or something deeper, government health guidelines recommend seeking guidance if the changes persist for two weeks or more.

How to approach and have a conversation

Starting a conversation about mental health takes courage for both of you. Beyond Blue advises choosing a quiet, private space where the person feels comfortable. Let them know you've noticed a change and that you're asking because you care, not because you're judging.

Cultural sensitivity matters here too. People from different backgrounds may have different ways of understanding and expressing emotional distress. Be open to the possibility that the person may not use clinical language to describe what they're going through.

Beyond that, many people simply aren't comfortable admitting something is wrong. Stigma, fear of being a burden, or not yet recognising the problem themselves can all play a role.

If there is any indication that someone is at immediate risk of harm to themselves or others, don't hesitate. Call Triple Zero (000) or take them to the nearest hospital emergency department. Lifeline (13 11 14) is also available around the clock.

What to say and avoid when supporting

If you're unsure what to say to someone who is struggling, these approaches can help:

• Active listening is the foundation: That means giving someone your full attention without jumping to fix the problem.
• Ask open-ended questions: “How have you been feeling lately?” works better than “Are you okay?” because it invites a fuller answer.
• Avoid minimising their experience with phrases: Phrases like “just think positive” or “other people have it worse.” According to the Black Dog Institute, non-judgmental language helps build trust and makes it more likely the person will open up again in the future.
• Set boundaries for yourself: Supporting someone through emotional distress can be draining, and your wellbeing matters too. You don't need to save the person you’re caring for. Sometimes just being present is enough.
• Follow up after your first conversation: A simple check-in a few days later shows that your concern wasn't a one-off. It reinforces that they have someone in their corner.

How to support day-to-day wellbeing

Beyond the initial conversation, there are many practical ways to support the person you care about. This might look like helping them maintain a routine, helping them get to their appointments, or simply spending time together, like cooking a meal or watching TV.

Encouraging professional help is one of the most valuable things you can do. A GP is often the best starting point. They can assess symptoms including depression, anxiety, and more, create a Mental Health Treatment Plan under Medicare, and refer to a psychologist or counsellor.

If someone you care about is suffering from depression, this is one of the most direct paths to getting them help. Reassure them that what they share with a health professional is generally kept confidential, with limited exceptions such as where there is a risk of harm.

For those in crisis or who need immediate support, these services are available 24/7 across Australia:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
• Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
• Kids Helpline (ages 5 to 25): 1800 55 1800
• 13YARN (Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander crisis support): 13 92 76

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